Of Mobile Phones and Trust

I was recently at a party talking to a friend about random things and somehow the idea of checking your partner’s phone came up in the conversation. She was quite open about checking her husband’s phone – he was there whilst we were having the conversation and didn’t seem to mind. But what was interesting was how gobsmacked she was that I never and had never checked Gary’s. And on thinking about it afterwards I realised that it never even enters my mind to check his phone. I’m not even sure what I’d be checking it for…… But whilst having a Modern Family marathon last weekend an episode came on where all of the family were constantly checking or trying to check on each other’s messages and emails.

It got me to wondering that maybe it’s me that’s strange? On searching for the image a host of photos all of which implied infidelity or cheating were brought up – and all the images spelled out a lack of trust. Now I’m not suggesting my friend doesn’t trust her husband, as I said he didn’t seem to mind, but it’s all a little strange that this is the norm. I’ve known plenty of couples who have broken up or had arguments caused by what’s been found on mobiles – or even arguments caused because one of them refuses to share what’s on theirs.

I work on a don’t ask don’t tell kind of basis. I trust Gary and I know that if he was ever to have anything on his phone he didn’t want me to see it would be for a good reason, not because he was being unfaithful or mean about me. And what sort of person does that make me if I do go snooping? It makes me look suspicious, jealous and untrusting surely? But I do feel like I’m in a minority and it’s another nail in the coffin for real social interaction. Soon there’ll be a generation of people incapable of talking to each other, sharing real feelings or reading body language – or even giving body language signals – all thanks to networks like Tinder, Facebook and Twitter.

I don’t know about you, but I like to talk to people, look them in the eye and trust them. Wouldn’t you?

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3 thoughts on “Of Mobile Phones and Trust

  1. I don’t check my husband’s either. I don’t feel I need to or have a reason to. Jealousy and paranoia can be such a bad thing and get out of hand so quickly…which is kind of why the Modern Family episode cracked me up. 🙂

  2. I used to look at my ex’s phone… I think he deleted everything but I would look at the phone records too. Turns out he was cheating on me so…

    That said, I’ve never looked at the phone of any other guy I’ve dated, nor have I wanted to, so maybe subconsciously I knew? I dunno but my mom always says, if you’re going to snoop, you better be prepared for what you’re going to find…

    1. That’s very true. And I think you must have had reason to check even if you didn’t realise at the time. I’m glad you haven’t been effected by that for relationships after that one though and that you’re still able to trust when the guy is right 🙂

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